The Yorkshire Radio Broadcast they didn't want you to hear even if it had taken place!

BEN FRY: Delighted to speak to you Mr Chairman direct from Monte Carlo.....

KEN BATES: Yes indeed Ben, been very busy, lunch at Cafe De Paris, overlooking the med...luckily not many Morons wandering the port...must be all in Mabelthorpe.

BF: So how have things been progressing behind the scenes at Elland Rd Mr Chairman?

KB: As I say Ben, we've been very busy, we have revamped the menu at Howards which I am sure will tantalise the taste buds of the more sophisticated palates and he toilets in Billy's Bar are being refurbished as we speak. We've ordered some new tablecloths for the East Stand Upper so those empty vessels who say we do not reinvest in the business need to take a good, long hard look at themselves.

BF: Mr Chairman, regarding the issue of squad rebuilding and comments made by the captain Robert Snodgrass this week, it appears things have ground to a halt after the impressive signing of Jason Pearce....

KB: Listen, I've been saying this for seven summers now, it is very difficult to do business at this time of the year because of holidays. I appreciate that fans who have renewed may afford to go away but managers, players, agents and chairmen do go away at this time of year so it's very difficult and then there is the Euros and obviously with the sort of calibre of signing we are looking at....as for the Scots Snodgrass and erm the other one....McCormack.....well Doug Rougvie and David Speedie were more than happy with a can of Irn Bru and a Tunnocks Snowball so don't know what the fuss is about.

BF: So Mr Chairman any summer message or the Leeds fans?

KB: Yes er...if they are planning a summer celebration, you know birthday, funeral, wedding, bar mitzvah...maybe not then why not consider Elland Road as a venue for that special occasion, call our Conference and Events Team on 0113 367 1166, there's Fathers Day coming up so why not treat your Dad to an unforgettable three course Sunday lunch at Billy's Bar on Sunday 17th June AD....Season Tickets are now on general sale and we now have less than 25,000 left so I'd urge anyone who wants to be part of next season to come aboard now to avoid disappointment, finally the new shirt is going very well and you can order this online as well as buying from the club shop.

BF: Mr Chairnan as ever thank you for your time...

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