Due to the transient nature of the Saints squad in recent weeks the club is set to delay announcing the official player nicknames till the day before the season starts.

Having an official nickname is an important part of being recognised as a vital squad member at a football club and it is no different at St Mary's, however due to the recent outgoings, the possibility of a couple more, as well as the imminent arrival of some exciting signings, the club has decided to delay releasing the official squad nickname list.

Squad nicknames are like squad numbers, players like to stick to the same one and sometimes when a player departs his nickname is much prized by another and a change is made with a player relinquishing his old nickname and taking on another.

Some are very simple, so simple in fact that even a Portsmouth free transfer could make them up, thus Sam McQueen is obviously "Steve" a nickname he had to wait for Steve De Ridder to leave before taking over, Steve Davis is "interesting" Harrison Reed is "Oliver" although to be blunt I havent a clue what Billy Sharp's is.

The only thing that is certain about the new list is that the Club are to retire the nickname "Super Rickie Lambert" this is for a number of reasons, firstly we have no one else in the squad called Rickie, secondly we have no one called Lambert either and thirdly and perhaps more worryingly is we are struggling to find anyone described as Super.

However there are several other nicknames freed up by departures and available if anyone wants to take them up.

Chubby Burger King Boy

Money Grabbing Traitor

Greedy Deluded Croatian B*****d

Tapped Up Teenage T***

Saints fan are also advised that if they have the nicknames Enraged Frenchie or Lancashire Clog Dancing ***** embossed on the back of their shirts that they will not be able to claim refunds in January.

Elsewhere its believed that several squad members believe a change of nickname will mean a change of luck.

Jack Cork has never liked the handle of "Plug" not because he looks like one of the Bash Street Kids, but because with the departure of the man known as Money Grabbing Traitor or MGT he now fancies a bit of an acronym himself with BBC floating around in his head although he hasn't quite worked out what words to use yet.

The delay is a big disappointment to some of the new players who had joined the club enthused by the ambition of the new board to compete with the top clubs in the nickname stakes, they are concerned that already the ambitions have changed within St Mary's and instead of a desire for innovative snappy nicknames we will be now content with the likes of Davo, Corko, Wanyamao and Clyno.

The new guys had been promised a big fanfare and that the club were chasing big nicknamed targets.

Ryan Bertrand especially was looking forward to being christened "Plastic" and having the song Ca Plane Pour Moi blasted out over the tannoy, the track as younger readers fathers will confirm was a big hit for Belgium Punk Plastic Bertrand in 1978.

But it seems that there will be disappointment as the Club seem to be settling for run of the mill nicknamed players, some without even a permanent moniker but one that is borrowed for a season.

One player who would fit the bill for nickname excitement would be Ron Vlaar if we could get him from Villa, "Concrete Ron" is a name that exudes strength and class rather than Folding Fonte or The Yosh

The right noises are still coming out of St Mary's about some super nicknames being signed but we are seemingly struggling to attract the right sort of player, gone are the days when we had the likes of Le God or Flash Gordon leading our attack and that is something to worry about.

Photo: Action Images

stevedennis added 23:25 - Aug 4 Brilliant and very funny. In the midst of all the depressive news coverage, it gave me a good laugh. However, I really believe that Saints will be all the stronger for the outgoing moves and the incoming replacements. We have a great new manager who must be given credit for coming to Saints, knowing that an exodus will occur. He will become the great Saints manager, if we all stick behind him and the new team. It would be sheer delight to see the turncoats eating some humble pie as they fail to match their transfer values and our new players excel. COYS

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Whatsforpud added 09:41 - Aug 5 I always thought that the 'S' in SRL stood for SIR. Will anyone else be knighted?
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