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Oktoberfest In Marchwood As Klopp Expected On Thursday
Friday, 9th Oct 2015 13:25

The German flags are out in Marchwood as local traders prepare to welcome Jurgen Klopp to the village on Thursday.

It is going all Bavarian in the sleepy village of Marchwood home of the training ground of Southampton Football Club with the expected arrival of new Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp on Thursday morning.

Klopp already under fire in some quarters for going into a second day in charge without winning a trophy is undertaking a thorough overview of the entire operation of Liverpool FC and as part of that he has requested to visit what he has assumed to be the club's academy at Staplewood.

Klopp is well aware of the great record that the village of Marchwood has for producing players for Liverpool and he wants to take a closer look for himself and perhaps address a few words to members of his squad for 2015/16.

Klopp like his predecessor is likely to take a room at the White Horse public house and the hostelry have already ordered in several barrels of Hofbrau and supplies of bratwurst along with some rolls strangely too short for the said German delicacy.

Some villagers have already bought lederhosen to make sure that Klopp feels at home and the village brass band is learning from a book called 20 Oompah classics.

On arrival Klopp will be shown to Liverpool's official tree overlooking Staplewood and the Mayor of Marchwood will offer him the official first leg up, a tradition stretching back to the summer of 2014, after that Klopp wil be presented with a certificate from the village council to honour the occasion and will be made an honary freeman of the village, which amongst other things allows him to shin up any tree he wants in Staplewood Lane and to drive his sheep through the village.

In return Klopp will hand the Mayor the receipt for Dejan Lovren and ask for Liverpool's money back.

So much excitement in the small village of Marchwood that for a few days next week will be a small part of Bavaria.

NB. No inference should be taken that Jurgen Klopp is Bavarian, we know he is from Stuttgart which is nowhere near Bavaria, however Stuttgart is a humourless place that offers little in the way of cheap laughs, so in the spirit of trying to make this piece even remotely funny we have had to take a few stereotypical German references.

Photo: Action Images

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Hugh_Jarce added 18:56 - Oct 9
Apparently some concern in Anfield that we have cancelled the Direct Debit arrangement. As long as he keeps well away from Marchwood I think Klopp will be a welcome addition to the PL. And glad to see the back of the arrogant tw*t Rodgers

IWOZTHERE added 13:52 - Oct 10
Might be difficult to lose our 'special arrangement' tag now... Klopp/Krueger/Liebherr..........
Ok I know it's tenuous, but today I'm writing for the Mail !

SaintBrock added 07:49 - Oct 11
I am not surprised at the poor reaction to this article Nick. Frankly it is very tired humour which may amuse you but apparently does not amuse many others.

IWOZTHERE added 11:27 - Oct 11
Flop Brendan cops strop over chop. Klopp to Kop to stop drop.......

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