With still three months to go before Liverpool can persue Virgil Van Dijk officially, that is of course if they haven't already been accused of unsettling him again, Liverpool have put out a glossary to help their supporters understand what the Dutch defender really means.

Liverpool supporters were once again salivating over a few throw away comments from Virgil Van Dijk last week, however Liverpool have been concerned that some of their supporters have not really understood what he is saying.

The problem is that with so many of their supporters having been no nearer to Merseyside than the Beatles section of their local CD store it is so easy for Liverpool's biggest supporter ever who naturally resides somewhere in the Far East to misinterpret what the Dutchman is saying.

We at TUI have managed to get a sneak preview of the book and we now bring you some excerpts, however we must warn you that the content is graphic and contains total sycophancy so readers who may be easily offended should turn the page now.

" I want to test myself at the highest level" - I want to play for Jergun Klopp and Liverpool desperately

"I want to play Champions League football" - I think that there is only one English team in the Champions League and that is Liverpool

"Whilst I remain a Saints player I will give 100%" - I want to leave for Liverpool

"We will see what happens in January" - I want to leave for Liverpool now and FIFA should amend their rules for me "

"I'm not a spoilt brat" - Of course I'm a spoilt brat I want to go to Liverpool now

"It's not about the money I really want to work with Jergun Klopp" - It's all about money Klopp will be gone by Xmas anyway

"I have just signed a new six year deal at Southampton for twice the money Liverpool offered me " - I want to leave for Liverpool and I would play for them for free"

"Big Mac and fries to go please" - I want to play for Liverpool

"Good morning Postie" - I really love Liverpool they are the biggest club in the World

"Pass me the salt please" - I love Liverpool

" I want to play for Liverpool" - I want to really play for Manchester United but Mourinho won't have me"

"Atchoo" - Pardon me I love Liverpool

Photo: Action Images

SaintBrock added 13:36 - Oct 6 Obviously Nick the therapy has not been a great success.
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BaselSaint added 14:13 - Oct 6 Ho!
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SanMarco added 17:46 - Oct 6 Oh dear
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dovif added 01:34 - Oct 7 Lol You have not figured out he want to leave. And he is unsettling the whole side by staying here. We have too many backs and we have atrocious forwards and attacking midfielders. I think most people have figured out what will happen let's hope that he does not play poorly and we can cash in the 60 mil. If we were offered 60 mil and we did not cash in back in July so we can buy a sorely needed striker and attacking midfielder. Multiple people should be sacked over it.

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IWOZTHERE added 10:59 - Oct 8 I agree materially with dovif. As the 'football experienced' guy on the board it's surely down to him, and there is no excuse because this is the second season it's happened. The only 'out' for him is that we don't know what's been going on behind the scenes. He may have gone out on a limb to make to make these signings but been over-ruled? Whether collectively or individually, it's still down to the board.

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SaintBrock added 11:43 - Oct 9 Nick where are you? Please come back, all is forgiven xxx
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