| Jokes Of The Day 13:34 - Jun 6 with 1312 views | SaintNick |
I went to the chippy and asked if they did take away - Yes. 2 from 5 is 3
My ex wife was deaf. She left me for my deaf friend. To be honest, l should've seen the signs
A mute incontinent. Goes without saying
What do batteries run on?
My teacher used to say l wasn't very observant .....to be honest, that was his/her opinion
My doctor said to me, "Do you know your sperm count?" I said l didn't know they were that clever
I wrote a book on penguins. Paper would've been better
I'm training my dog to bring me a glass of red wine. He's a Bordeaux Collie
What do batteries ..... just checking that you're paying attention
I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together - Riveting
Right now l'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think l've forgotten this before
I tried to draw my shadow but couldn't ....my arm kept moving |  |
| Satisfying The Bloodlust Of The Masses In Peacetime |
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| Jokes Of The Day on 21:52 - Jun 6 with 1088 views | 1885_SFC |
I got my knob out today and showed it to my doctor, telling him I think it may be monkeypox.
He looked disgusted and refused to touch it so I left him alone to continue shopping with his wife and two kids. |  |
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| Jokes Of The Day on 23:13 - Jun 6 with 1029 views | Berber |
“I went to the chippy and asked if they did take away - Yes. 2 from 5 is 3 “
I worked for a guy who,no matter what Chinese Restaurant we went to ordered 9 and 34. He reckoned it all tasted the same, and it saved him a lot of time making choices that made no difference.
If it wasn’t a Chinese restaurant, he ordered prawn cocktail, followed by steak ( well done) and chips. |  | | |
| Jokes Of The Day on 00:14 - Jun 7 with 1003 views | cotswoldsaint |
Operator : Emergency Services, how can I help you?
Caller : Hi there, I think I may just have seen a bomb being planted!
Operator : OK, please can I have some details?
Caller : Well, I’ve just come out of Asda, there was a man behaving really suspiciously by the Takeaway counter, looking round, seeing if anyone was watching.
Operator : So, what happened next?
Caller : Well, I waited for him to go, then I went over to the counter. I saw he’d left a sandwich there which had wires sticking out all over it…and I thought BOMB!
Operation : So, to clarify, in Asda, there appears to be a suspected bomb placed inside a sandwich…was it tickin’….?
Caller : No, I think it was turkey |  | | |
| Jokes Of The Day on 22:42 - Jun 7 with 749 views | Sadoldgit |
Why did the pervert cross the road?
Because he was still stuck up the chicken. |  | | |
| Jokes Of The Day on 08:30 - Jun 8 with 674 views | thissceptredsaint |
The CEO of IKeA has been appointed Prime Minister of Sweden.
He's currently assembling his cabinet
My poor pet chameleon has stopped changing colour
He's got a reptile dysfunction
SOMEONE has rearranged the labels on my spice rack…!!!
Haven’t confronted them yet but the thyme is cumin. |  | | |
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