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Sunday league footballers. Pretend you're a Premier League footballer by not wearing your kit on the subs bench, then getting undressed and dressed again, and generally faff about so it takes you ten minutes to get ready when you're subbed on.
For added authenticity, hop on one leg as you enter the pitch pointing towards the sky and wear a black armband because the captain's auntie's cat died last week. J Barton Huyton
Satisfying The Bloodlust Of The Masses In Peacetime