| Advise Please (HR Related ) 12:52 - Jan 5 with 24876 views | paulparker |
ok so at work we have a woman who is very, very , very racist and outspoken
I have now clashed with this woman as she has been "bullying" other people and I cannot sit by and watch that ( I hate bullys) , to the trained eye I look like the aggressor because i stood up for her and told her to f off as a male I can see how this looks
I have now made a complaint to the upper management about her "comments " about other races , some of it is very near the knuckle
now am I wrong to do this? have I opened up a huge can of worms for myself
most of the office floor are blanking me
as anyone else had to do this ?
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| And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 16:52 - Jan 16 with 3188 views | paulparker |
| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 16:45 - Jan 16 by BazzaInTheLoft |
Innocent people don't offer hugs.
Was the mediator internal HR or ACAS? |
internal HR , it was lame Bazza
I stopped it as It wasn't going anywhere it was pointless drivel without getting to the heart of it , the "hug it out" thing was just the icing on the cake and they are making this to be a like a petty playground squabble of chocolate sweets
HR have emailed me again to re schedule another mediation meeting but ive not responded , | |
| And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 16:53 - Jan 16 with 3173 views | paulparker |
| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 16:50 - Jan 16 by Ashdown_Ranger |
A HUG!!!
'kin ell...
Sounds a right farce of a 'mediation' session... is that the end of the matter?
Was your father-in-law there too - what were his thoughts?
Anyway, she offered the hug, so a moral victory on your part - let's hope her supposedly positive vibe continues in the office... |
my father in law was the one who advised to stop the meeting | |
| And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 17:06 - Jan 16 with 3123 views | Ashdown_Ranger |
| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 16:52 - Jan 16 by paulparker |
internal HR , it was lame Bazza
I stopped it as It wasn't going anywhere it was pointless drivel without getting to the heart of it , the "hug it out" thing was just the icing on the cake and they are making this to be a like a petty playground squabble of chocolate sweets
HR have emailed me again to re schedule another mediation meeting but ive not responded , |
OK, sounds like they're worried enough to take it further.
I'd have a think specifically about what outcome you want out of this, sounds like they're floundering around not really knowing what to do. |  | | |
| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 17:09 - Jan 16 with 3114 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 16:52 - Jan 16 by paulparker |
internal HR , it was lame Bazza
I stopped it as It wasn't going anywhere it was pointless drivel without getting to the heart of it , the "hug it out" thing was just the icing on the cake and they are making this to be a like a petty playground squabble of chocolate sweets
HR have emailed me again to re schedule another mediation meeting but ive not responded , |
Have you got an specific outcome you are after, or just want her to get a smacked bum and to give the bigotry a rest? |  | | |
| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 17:29 - Jan 16 with 3065 views | Brightonhoop |
Well done for not losing it. 'A hug' ffs!!!
I would email HR either tonight or in the morning requiring a detailed and accurate report on the 'Mediation' today for all parties to review and sign off on. For your own protection and to maintain the pressure. Before agreeing to any further Mediation.
Sounds like they are totally unprofessional and you have them on the back foot so think about what outcome you want. Whether you want her formally disciplined, re-trained, moved out etc and seek HR to deal with the bullying culture that exists by getting some procedural external help on Law. For there own sakes as well as well as all suffering it. |  | | |
| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 17:33 - Jan 16 with 3061 views | W7Ranger |
 
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 17:48 - Jan 16 with 3027 views | Juzzie |
"Just give me a hug" - 5 words that completely blew her defense out of the water. |  | | |
| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 17:54 - Jan 16 with 3009 views | robith |
Me reading "just give me a hug"
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 18:18 - Jan 16 with 2946 views | 2Thomas2Bowles |
The firm should have a "Hug a racist day" |  |
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 18:53 - Jan 16 with 2872 views | Dorse |
All I can think of now:
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| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 19:51 - Jan 16 with 2802 views | Benny_the_Ball |
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 21:24 - Jan 16 with 2713 views | JimmyR |
Keep a log of her behaviour. If possible use your mobile to record one of these rants/what she is saying |  | | |
| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 22:00 - Jan 16 with 2668 views | isawqpratwcity |
She pulled a nice ploy suggesting the hug. It clearly matched HR's desire to just 'paper over the cracks' and then draw a line under the matter. It meant you risked being portrayed as 'the problem' by your reluctance and your father-in-law did you good service by stopping such an unprofessional resolution.
Be alert. Your evidence and her admissions still won't preclude HR from making you the scapegoat by suggesting that you 'over-reacted to banter'. Your HR is obviously weak as piss and not driven by any constitutional rigour.
Some good suggestions from other posters here.
Stay calm and keep your wits about you. It sounds like your father-in-law is giving you great support. You are doing well, PP. |  |
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 04:06 - Jan 17 with 2501 views | Pommyhoop |
Tsk.
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 08:25 - Jan 17 with 2389 views | TheChef |
Was expecting them to use a large broom - wasn't expecting the hug!
Dear oh dear. |  |
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 08:57 - Jan 17 with 2336 views | TheChef |
| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 08:25 - Jan 17 by TheChef |
Was expecting them to use a large broom - wasn't expecting the hug!
Dear oh dear. |
Oh, and HR department in 'being totally useless' shocker. | |
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 11:42 - Jan 17 with 2229 views | johncharles |
| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 18:18 - Jan 16 by 2Thomas2Bowles |
The firm should have a "Hug a racist day" |
Whoopie, where’s John Terry  |  |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 11:47 - Jan 17 with 2214 views | johncharles |
I wonder if the HR mediator has received a memo from above yet....
“A hug ?!! What the fcuk do you think you’re doing ?” [Post edited 17 Jan 2018 11:48]
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| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 11:57 - Jan 17 with 2194 views | paulparker |
another mediation is pencilled in now for Friday 3pm , with a new mediator I , have complained about how much of a farce yesterday was and that none of the points I have complained about were raised , I also sent an email saying the "hug it " out thing was not very professional | |
| And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 12:31 - Jan 17 with 2129 views | JAPRANGERS |
I think it's great the stand you are making PP.
All the best for Friday. Shame you can't do a live transmission for us supporters! 
Nous sommes tous PP!! |  | | |
| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 12:43 - Jan 17 with 2094 views | EastR |
I’ve been following this thread with interest PP, haven’t commented earlier as mostly agreed with the great input you’ve received to date.
But a couple of things to highlight:
If they hadn’t already gone out of business this week I’d have guessed you worked for some shoddy company like Carillion. The level of professionalism being shown by your management/HR is rank and, in the circumstances you’ve outlined, extremely negligent and borderline illegal.
HR never has your interests as their priorities. At the end of the day they are there to enforce the will of the company. Their incompetence sadly will reflect the wider environment.
It seems that the situation has developed into two separate issues:
- You’re in mediation for the confrontation that’s taken place. That’s just you and her, with the possibility of some disciplinary for either of you as a result
- The incidents that have been happening more widely over a period centring on her behaviours and impacting on you and other colleagues.
Don’t lose sight of the second one as it’s arguably a bigger problem, or allow it to be lost in dealing with the first one. (It would be very disappointing if other colleagues weren’t forthcoming to support you in this)
As others have suggested take the time now to decide what is the outcome I want from this? Once you are clear about that, with outside help and advice set out the steps you need to get there.
Best of luck | |
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 12:43 - Jan 17 with 2092 views | jonno |
HR departments in my experience are a joke, but also quite nasty. In my 40+ years at British Gas they went from being called "Personnel" - which usually consisted of a couple of people who dealt with admin of various types but also generally had the welfare of the employees at heart and would act as a bit of a protective barrier against the occasional vindictiveness of management, to a whole new department - now called "HR", with their own "director" and everything. This department now, far from protecting the interests of the employee would actually do the dirty work which management told them to do in terms of getting rid of people, outsourcing whole departments in the most cost effective way, disciplining people for the slightest thing etc. "HR" has now become some entire industry of it's own, with all sorts of qualifications etc. However, in my experience the HR department was entirely useless but very happy to adopt bullying tactics as instructed by the management. I had a number of run-ins with them myself, via the abysmal management of the IT department, and neither HR or the management followed the company's procedures properly when they attempted to take disciplinary action against me - for which they had absolutely no foundation to do - and with the help of the Trade Union in all instances they were forced to back off, but only thanks to their ineptness, not because they admitted what they were attempting to pin on me was in fact a tissue of lies, and threats of an Industrial Tribunal put the sh*ts up them. As for "Employment Lawyers" - be careful. In my experience many of them do far more work for big companies against employees than they do for individual employees against companies - mainly because of the prohibitive cost of engaging one of them - and they therefore know which side their bread is buttered in terms of the advice they may give you. Best of luck. [Post edited 17 Jan 2018 12:47]
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 12:43 - Jan 17 with 2092 views | RangersDave |
| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 11:57 - Jan 17 by paulparker |
another mediation is pencilled in now for Friday 3pm , with a new mediator I , have complained about how much of a farce yesterday was and that none of the points I have complained about were raised , I also sent an email saying the "hug it " out thing was not very professional |
Record everything mate, I cannot stress that they can claim anything they want in written notes or about written notes but can do bugger all against a recording done on your phone.
Just don’t let them know your doing it, and keep collecting evidence.
Is your company part of a larger holding company? I ask because if so I’m sure they wouldn’t like to know how this is going.
Don’t forget, you can make life very very uncomfortable for them should this farce go on....thinking press etc, even if comments made to them are attributable to a anonymous sympathetic ‘colleague’ of yours.
This sh1t shouldn’t even have gotten this far, your apologised and the broom came out for the racist comments. I bet if it was the other way round, and you made racist comments or sexist, they would throw the book at you.
Best of luck bud. |  |
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 12:45 - Jan 17 with 2079 views | Dorse |
| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 11:57 - Jan 17 by paulparker |
another mediation is pencilled in now for Friday 3pm , with a new mediator I , have complained about how much of a farce yesterday was and that none of the points I have complained about were raised , I also sent an email saying the "hug it " out thing was not very professional |
I think that they need to take this far more seriously. How they ever thought that a) allowing her to offer, or b) encouraging you to accept a hug from her was the professional course of action shows an appalling lack of awareness or sensitivity.
Put it another way, if she had reacted to sexist 'banter' in the way you did, would it be alright for you to offer her a hug? I'm still choking on my own rage here.
By attending the meeting, and remaining calm and professional in the face some weapons-grade fcukwittery, you are controlling the narrative and they have no choice but to address your concerns. You were absolutely correct in calling the meeting to a halt and have shown respect to both the process and the company. | |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 12:56 - Jan 17 with 2044 views | PlanetHonneywood |
| Advise Please (HR Related ) on 11:57 - Jan 17 by paulparker |
another mediation is pencilled in now for Friday 3pm , with a new mediator I , have complained about how much of a farce yesterday was and that none of the points I have complained about were raised , I also sent an email saying the "hug it " out thing was not very professional |
HR going against HR...that'd be a first!
Alas, I think my previous posts have merely come to fruition, and I suspect that the second HR person will merely re-badge the 'hug' suggestion.
It's going nowhere, but you have to see it out. I reiterate the need to advance that, in bringing the matter of alleged racism to the employer's attention, you did so in 'good faith' and that your action is a 'protected act' and so ensuring there is no 'victimisation' as a result.
Put it behind you, move on and focus on our push for the play-offs. |  |
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