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LFW Message Board Glossary 17:05 - Aug 29 with 40583 viewsNorthernr

"The pay-as-you-play deal" - whenever a potential signing is rumoured or suggested who is obviously a) too fcking old, b) too fcking expensive, c) qualifying for a hip replacement on the NHS, d) one of life's genuine arseholes who's blown up every dressing room he's ever been in, instead of dismissing the idea out of hand one is duty bound to suggest a pay-as-you-play deal. That he wouldn't accept this, and that this doesn't really exist, is irrelevant.

"Digging down" - whenever discussing the merits of a new stadium, of trying to redevelop the one we already have, one is duty bound to suggest digging Loftus Road down into the ground. The fact this would also dig it down into the water table and effectively create a world leading water polo venue for a good six months a year is also irrelevant. Will also accept "building out over South Africa Road" and "adding a revolving restaurant".

"Les was crap to start with as well" - whenever debating the ability or otherwise of a new striker, due consideration must always be given to the fact Les Ferdinand was total dog sht when he first got here. Please see three years of Conor Washington debate, or 17 pages (and counting) on Lyndon Dykes' move to Birmingham.

...

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 13:05 - Aug 30 with 2932 viewsted_hendrix

Tit Monday.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 13:07 - Aug 30 with 2931 viewsPadulas_Shampoo

LFW Message Board Glossary on 12:49 - Aug 30 by Northernr

That response should be in the glossary on its own.

We went down last, eight points adrift.
They went down third bottom, three points adrift.

If we'd beaten Hull 86-0 on the first day of the season it would have made the following differences.

We would have gone down third bottom, five points adrift.
They would have gone down bottom, six points adrift.

This post has been edited by an administrator


"It should have been 90"

"They were lucky to get 0"
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 13:10 - Aug 30 with 2894 viewsconnell10

Thick as a submarine door, which I've started to use in the real world.

AND WHEN I DREAM , I DREAM ABOUT YOU AND WHEN I SCREAM I SCREAM ABOUT YOU!!!!!
Poll: best number 10 ever?

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 13:29 - Aug 30 with 2771 viewsKonk

"Missed redevelopment opportunities": Rangers could now be playing in a 30,000 all-seater stadium in W12, if they’d shown a bit of vision and bought the Dairy Crest site, Television centre, the Territorial Army site, the Jack Tizard school site, the Grange Hill school site, the freehold to the Springbok, the Linford Christie stadium, HMP Wormwood Scrubs, and/or Holland Park roundabout.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 13:31 - Aug 30 with 2715 viewsSonofpugwash

On the bus.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 13:37 - Aug 30 with 2733 viewsBrianMcCarthy

Back in our rightful 16th.

"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
Poll: Player of the Year (so far)

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 13:42 - Aug 30 with 2700 viewsMytch_QPR

Surprised nobody has posted yet....

'A mate of mine' = This is the standard precursor to a totally unsubstantiated transfer rumour, generally linking us to a player we can't afford or who has already just signed for Barnsley. Normally involves some mention of a place / person at the club to add authenticity. Eg: 'My mate who regularly delivers toilet rolls to the training ground got talking to the security guy and apparently we're in for Billy The Fish from Melchester Rovers if we can move Steve Slade on before deadline'. In some cases, the term 'mate of a mate' is used - in which case the poster in question has either dreamt it or made it up.

'ITK' = I Talk Krap.

"Thank you for supporting Queens Park Rangers Steep Staircase"... and I thought I'd signed up for a rollercoaster.
Poll: Next temporary manager (the wheel of misfortune) - as requested by 18 Stone

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 13:45 - Aug 30 with 2677 viewsDannyPaddox

LFW Message Board Glossary on 13:05 - Aug 30 by ted_hendrix

Tit Monday.


Existing thread …

https://www.fansnetwork.co.uk/football/queensparkrangers/forum/312212/brest/#26
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 13:48 - Aug 30 with 2662 viewsBristolR

LFW Message Board Glossary on 13:45 - Aug 30 by DannyPaddox

Existing thread …

https://www.fansnetwork.co.uk/football/queensparkrangers/forum/312212/brest/#26




Bravo Sir!
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 14:13 - Aug 30 with 2567 viewsed_83

LFW Message Board Glossary on 18:10 - Aug 29 by colinallcars

There's a good player in there somewhere.


Also reckon the opposite of this sentiment deserves a mention: "he's useless, clearly never going to make it at Championship level, looks like he's never played football before, get rid of him, another disaster by Les / Hoos / Nourry, the entire club's doomed" after a new player has 15 minutes off the bench in a pre-season friendly, having signed from Atletico Timbuktu an hour before kickoff and speaking three words of English, and doesn't immediately play like prime period Taarabt.
[Post edited 30 Aug 14:14]
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 14:27 - Aug 30 with 2518 viewsMick_S

LFW Message Board Glossary on 13:29 - Aug 30 by Konk

"Missed redevelopment opportunities": Rangers could now be playing in a 30,000 all-seater stadium in W12, if they’d shown a bit of vision and bought the Dairy Crest site, Television centre, the Territorial Army site, the Jack Tizard school site, the Grange Hill school site, the freehold to the Springbok, the Linford Christie stadium, HMP Wormwood Scrubs, and/or Holland Park roundabout.


Mate, we’re not Leeds.

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 14:31 - Aug 30 with 2494 viewsLogman

I am looking forward to every single one of these being shoe-horned into the match fred for tonight
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 14:36 - Aug 30 with 2493 viewsKonk

LFW Message Board Glossary on 14:27 - Aug 30 by Mick_S

Mate, we’re not Leeds.


Leeds are still kicking themselves for not buying the Yorkshire Dales before they became a national park. With a bit of ingenuity, they could have built a 4 million all-seater stadium on that site with a fu ck-off car park and a bowling alley. They could have been the most massive club in the world and not just in West Yorks. Missed opportunities.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 14:46 - Aug 30 with 2451 viewsLblock

LFW Message Board Glossary on 08:31 - Aug 30 by DannyPaddox

Newly fitted kitchens can cure your erectile dysfunction.
Visit: newlyittedkitchenscancureyourerectiledysfunction.com


Comes To Nothing

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 14:59 - Aug 30 with 2421 viewsR_from_afar

LFW Message Board Glossary on 21:57 - Aug 29 by Dorse

'In my opinion...' absolutely not an opinion. It is actually a statement of absolute, immutable universal law. To contradict such would be to invite public ridicule. This is seen primarily in statements concerning John Terry, all political threads and whenever I mention Dom Ball.


Related to this:

Positioning a logical deduction as a cast iron fact.

"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 15:06 - Aug 30 with 2389 viewsDorse

'Boils my piss...' absolutely understandable reaction to anything Jack Colback does or accidentally hearing a Mumford & Sons song.

'He's League 1 at best...' description of any player at any time (2008 to date) the minute they give away a throw-in. This judgement, once rendered, is permanently applied and only ever temporarily suspended in the case of a last minute winner / hat-trick / multimillion pound transfer / England caps.

'What exactly does Ferdinand do...!?' Now defunct aimless rage dump when faced with the inexplicable failure of QPR to achieve Champions League status or Scarlett Johansen fails to return my calls / emails / crude potato-printed banners tied to roundabouts. Call me Scarlett, yeah?

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 15:09 - Aug 30 with 2375 viewsDorse

LFW Message Board Glossary on 14:59 - Aug 30 by R_from_afar

Related to this:

Positioning a logical deduction as a cast iron fact.


Alright alright, you got me.


'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 16:06 - Aug 30 with 2256 viewskensalriser

LFW Message Board Glossary on 15:06 - Aug 30 by Dorse

'Boils my piss...' absolutely understandable reaction to anything Jack Colback does or accidentally hearing a Mumford & Sons song.

'He's League 1 at best...' description of any player at any time (2008 to date) the minute they give away a throw-in. This judgement, once rendered, is permanently applied and only ever temporarily suspended in the case of a last minute winner / hat-trick / multimillion pound transfer / England caps.

'What exactly does Ferdinand do...!?' Now defunct aimless rage dump when faced with the inexplicable failure of QPR to achieve Champions League status or Scarlett Johansen fails to return my calls / emails / crude potato-printed banners tied to roundabouts. Call me Scarlett, yeah?


Scarlett says to please stop hassling her.

Poll: QPR to finish 7th or Brentford to drop out of the top 6?

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 16:19 - Aug 30 with 2222 viewsSilverfoxqpr

LFW Message Board Glossary on 21:58 - Aug 29 by slmrstid

Suggesting any ex-player who was half decent for us and is now available on a free transfer should be brought back in, regardless of whether they've played 10 or 100 games since they left us and were or weren't any good for other clubs.


Absolutely this, file in the collective 'NOSTALGIA' draw. Already mentioned I know but see also:

'Clint Hill as defensive coach'

And as recently as when Critchley was the manager and every manager prior who wasn't Holloway:

'Ollie is available, we could do worse than bringing in to do a job and steady the ship'
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 16:42 - Aug 30 with 2150 viewsjoe90

LFW Message Board Glossary on 14:13 - Aug 30 by ed_83

Also reckon the opposite of this sentiment deserves a mention: "he's useless, clearly never going to make it at Championship level, looks like he's never played football before, get rid of him, another disaster by Les / Hoos / Nourry, the entire club's doomed" after a new player has 15 minutes off the bench in a pre-season friendly, having signed from Atletico Timbuktu an hour before kickoff and speaking three words of English, and doesn't immediately play like prime period Taarabt.
[Post edited 30 Aug 14:14]


having signed from Atletico Timbuktu an hour before kickoff

Err...it's actually Al Farouk de Tombouctou. Don't bring your ignorance on here, there are other message boards. Ah, there's one for the glossary!
[Post edited 30 Aug 16:44]
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 16:43 - Aug 30 with 2151 viewsjointy

LFW Message Board Glossary on 09:50 - Aug 30 by lassel

I’m guilty as charged on this one but ‘he just needs one to go in off his arse’.

The last time i can remember a goalshy striker having one go in and spark a run of goals was Patrick ‘Wu-Tang’ Agyemang….


Ah that period when "there was a tear in the fabric of reality" still chuckle at that
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 20:35 - Aug 30 with 1925 viewsDorse

LFW Message Board Glossary on 16:06 - Aug 30 by kensalriser

Scarlett says to please stop hassling her.


Fine. But can she at least send back my Cheeky Girls CDs?

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:15 - Aug 31 with 1727 viewsCateLeBonR

“Can only be impact sub. Should never be starting”.

Paul Smyth for example.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:46 - Aug 31 with 1692 viewsderbyhoop

Rob Styles, Gurnal Singh, Keith Stroud and Gavin Ward have got no feel for the game. 4/10
[Post edited 31 Aug 10:46]

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the Earth all one's lifetime." (Mark Twain) Find me on twitter @derbyhoop and now on Bluesky

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 11:38 - Aug 31 with 1608 viewsNikLeSaux

“Long time lurker”
A member of the ‘Loft For Words’ forum for considerable length of time but contributes to a thread a maximum of once every three years; usually to complain about misogyny or support a stadium-wide smoking ban. On the very unlikely event of a LTL’s post being linked to a football related matter, expect it to be both wrong and absolute cliched twaddle (ex. “I’d like to see Ainsworth get a whole season under his belt so he can bring in his own people). Likely to inexplicably use real name as moniker. Expect LTL’s post to be ‘down-arrowed’ to double figures ensuring no further contribution until 2027.
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