Forum | Joke Of The Day by SaintNick

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Joke Of The Day 16:34 - Jan 28 with 543 views

Here is today's offering in my defence im pushed for time to look up a decent one.

The Self Depreciation Society are taking new members.
I've already put myself down .....

On my recent visit to the seaside l spent ages trying to figure out how to use the arcade machine.
Then the penny dropped ..

A man wakes up on a desert island only to find that the sun, sea and sand were all purple.
"Oh no!" he cried, "I've been marooned" ....

Satisfying The Bloodlust Of The Masses In Peacetime

Joke Of The Day on 16:56 - Jan 28 with 475 views

InTimeAddedOn

A mate of mine was waiting for a cab near Basingstoke station when someone hiding in a nearby hedge jumped him from behind and pulled him into the hedge where he passed out. When he came round he was lying on the pavement the other side of the hedge dressed in a blonde wig, huge false lashes, rouge, red lip gloss, a figure hugging red dress complete with false boobs and thigh length red boots with high heels, surrounded by police and paramedics. When he asked what had happened to him one of the police officers said “You’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards”

I’ll get my coat…. 😄

[Post edited 28 Jan 17:02]

-1

Joke Of The Day on 19:12 - Jan 28 with 301 views

hedgeend61

Using only a .22 pistol I survived a grizzly bear attack.
My friend, who I shot in the knee, wasn't so lucky.

Cars have too many gadgets these days
I was reversing my car and it started playing a video of someone getting run over by a car.

I put a log on the fire yesterday.
My wife thought it was disgusting and I burnt my arse...

[Post edited 28 Jan 19:18]

Joke Of The Day on 19:29 - Jan 28 with 263 views

HytheFerrytales

The other day I was asked to characterise my wife. I replied...

The patience of a Saint

The wisdom of an ancient Greek philosopher

The charm of an English rose

And

The suspicion of a moustache.

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