| Joke Of The Day 09:46 - Sep 15 with 1760 views | SaintNick |
I said to a Yorkshireman "Are you dyslexic ?" He said "how can you tell" I said you are wearing a cat flap on your head ! |  |
| Satisfying The Bloodlust Of The Masses In Peacetime |
| |  |
| Joke Of The Day on 13:08 - Sep 15 with 1517 views | hedgeend61 |
Scientists warn that Earth could run out of conspiracy theories by 2027,
if they keep coming true at the current rate.
I only trust one thing in the newspaper these days:
Fish & Chips.
And even that I take with a big pinch of salt.
When James Bond is abroad he is known as +44 07.
Not a lot of people know that.
Using only a .22 pistol I survived a grizzly bear attack.
My friend, who I shot in the knee, wasn't so lucky. |  | | |
| Joke Of The Day on 14:39 - Sep 15 with 1398 views | InTimeAddedOn |
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an atheist, and an agnostic?
Someone who stays up late wondering if there is a dog…
How do you know when a dyslexic was in charge of organising the drinks for the party you are at? There’s a bowl of melon slices to put in your gin & tonic…
Last Christmas my dyslexic friend went to a toga party dressed as a goat!
Meanwhile, his dyslexic wife took the kids to see Satan instead of Santa… |  | | |
| Joke Of The Day on 16:19 - Sep 15 with 1292 views | LondonSaint76 |
Film distributors got the English & French titles of the film about the little alien who wanted to go home mixed up - it was released as ET here in England but released as AND over in France.
>>>>>
Follow up films that never made it:
It looked like a parrot but a bit smaller and more brightly coloured - From the makers of Cockaone, Cockatoo
They looked like peas, only smaller and still in their pods - From the makers of Mangeone, Mangetout
They were lost in the Sahara desert in a terrible sandstorm, then in the distance they saw the outline of a town - From the makers of Timbukone…
>>>>>
An English cat named one, two, three and a French cat named un, deux, trois had a race across the Channel - which cat won and why?
The English cat one, two, three won because halfway across un, deux, trois cat sank. [Post edited 15 Sep 17:43]
|  | | |
| Joke Of The Day on 17:03 - Sep 16 with 791 views | InTimeAddedOn |
I can’t count up to ten in French anymore. 1 to 7, absolutely fine but when I get to 8 my throat constricts, I start coughing and my eyes get red and swollen and start to water. Turns out I’ve developed a bad huit allergy…. [Post edited 16 Sep 19:49]
| | | |
| Joke Of The Day on 17:41 - Sep 16 with 760 views | kernow |
Yorkshire man took his cat to the vets to have it neutered.
Vet says "is it a tom?"
"No it's in this ere basket" says Yorkie. |  | | |
| |
By continuing to use the site, you agree to our use of cookies and to abide by our Terms and Conditions.