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Japanese scientists……. 14:00 - Oct 10 with 1660 viewsTripleNiemi

…..have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Wife gets naked and asks hubby “what turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body ?”
Hubby looks her up and down and replies, “your sense of humour”.

Ready and waiting to mop up those European places......

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Japanese scientists……. on 14:46 - Oct 10 with 1607 viewsInTimeAddedOn

My uncle is the black sheep of the family, the rest of the family are all police marksman but he is a bank robber, he died recently as the result of a bungled bank raid, surrounded by his family….

My friend is the son of two spectacularly failed stage magicians, they are a nice family though, in addition to his Mum and Dad he has two half brothers and two half sisters….

In the last day of the Wilko sale on Sunday I got 10 packets of powdered water at 80% off of the RRP, trouble is, now I’ve got the packets home I don’t know what to add….
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Japanese scientists……. on 15:13 - Oct 10 with 1579 views1885_SFC

The wife told me the cat needed to be chipped.

I only had a nine iron, but I still got it over the shed.

Old School is Cool

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Japanese scientists……. on 15:24 - Oct 10 with 1569 viewsTripleNiemi

The wife has been missing for a week now so the police have said to prepare for the worst. I have just been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I spotted four grave diggers walking about with a coffin on their shoulders. 3 hours later and they were still strolling about with it - thought to myself, they have lost the plot!!

Ready and waiting to mop up those European places......

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Japanese scientists……. on 15:34 - Oct 10 with 1555 views1885_SFC


Old School is Cool

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Japanese scientists……. on 18:29 - Oct 10 with 1455 viewsHeisenberg

As my Grandad used to say you don’t have to be a member of the Klu Klux Klan to be a wizard between the sheets.

“Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously'
Poll: Who should get a statue outside the old girl ?

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Japanese scientists……. on 08:24 - Oct 11 with 1303 viewsSonicBoom

I came across a midget in the jungle standing next to the biggest lion I've ever seen. It was stone cold dead.
I said " Who killed that thing!?"
He replied "I did"
I said "how the hell did you do that?"
He said "With my club".
I said "it must have been a very big club!!"
He replied "Yeah there's about 50 of us"......
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