Forum | Some Oldies But Goldies by SaintNick

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Some Oldies But Goldies 11:49 - Jan 16 with 875 views

My wife left me last night because I robbed her wheelchair. She'll come crawling back

Phoned 999 up last night. "Two girls are fighting over me"
Bizzy said "What's the problem?"
l said "The fat one's winning"

Got stopped by the police before.
"Where were you between 5 and 11?
I said, "Primary school"

I'm on Embarrassing Bodies next week. One of my balls is bigger than the other three

Went to the chip shop before and asked for a chicken dinner. I got a bowl of corn (it was fowl)

In bed last night pulling off my boxers. "You spoil them dogs" said the wife.

Satisfying The Bloodlust Of The Masses In Peacetime

Some Oldies But Goldies on 12:21 - Jan 16 with 847 views

Frontwheeler

… a host welcomed his guest to a fancy dress party
Host: Hello, what have you come as?
Guest: A harp
Host: Your costume’s not big enough to be a harp.
Guest: Are you calling me a lyre?

Some Oldies But Goldies on 12:31 - Jan 16 with 842 views

kentsouthampton

Got pulled over by a traffic policeman yesterday, he said your wife fell out the car a mile back,I said that's a relief I thought I'd gone deaf.

Some Oldies But Goldies on 12:58 - Jan 16 with 811 views

1885_SFC

The wife just asked me whether I love her or football the most?... I said "Open your legs and I will show you"...
...So I nutmegged her.

Old School is Cool

Some Oldies But Goldies on 08:34 - Jan 17 with 636 views

FredAndWhite

Apparently when you buy cabbage at Coles greengrocers
you are then legally obliged to buy carrots and mayonnaise
it's Coles law.

Poll:

What is your GOAL OF THE MONTH for December?

Some Oldies But Goldies on 11:13 - Jan 17 with 587 views

hedgeend61

I went to see a brilliant Elbow tribute band called Arse.

I couldn't tell one from the other.

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